The Patriots Won The ESPYs

Tough day for Patriot nation, no doubt. But, I suppose if we were gonna grab a little victory it could be that of all the skits at the ESPYs the Patriots stood out the most. Brady had flawless comedic timing and delivery on that “letter from Peyton,” Gronk fucked Margot Robbie and got the Pats nicknamed the Suicide Squad: a group of bad boys who do good. Is it much? No, it’s not. But on the only night there are no professional sports in America, the Patriots got a win. That’s something, I guess.

PS – quick update on Malcolm Butler’s suit: he got fitted at Jos A Bank next to an 11 year old. Absolutely hysterical.